Friday, April 06, 2012


The Mariners open up stateside tonight.  One thing I find unbearable about the Mariners' radio broadcasts are the nicknames that Rick Rizzs chooses for the players.  Usually he just adds a -y suffix, which is incredibly lazy and quite frankly I think it emasculates the players (a bit) rather than make for a playful nickname.  Basically I heard a radio broadcast and heard way too much of Miggy and Figgy during the game and wanted to put a fist through my radio.  Really, this goes back quite a ways since I remember being pissed off over names like Cammy and Nelly and Shiggy. 

Anyway, here's the roster for the second opening night, in crappy Rizzs-like nickname format.  I made up most of these in the "spirit" of Rizzs nicknames, but the ones Rizzs actually uses are noted. 

Blake Beavan - Blakey, Beavey
Steve Delabar - Stevie, Delly, Barry
Felix Hernandez - King (consensus), Kingy, Licksy, Herny, Dezy
Hisashi Iwakuma - Hisashiy, Koomy
Brandon League - Brandy, Leaguey
Lucas Luetge - Lukey (confusing if used due to Lueke), Luetgey
Kevin Millwood - Kevy, Milly, Woody
Hector Noesi - Hecty, Noesiy
Erasmo Ramirez - Erasmy, Rammy, Rezzie
George Sherrill - Georgy, Sherry
Jason Vargas - Jasey, Vargy
Tom Wilhelmsen - Tommy, Willy, Helmy
John Jaso - Johnny, Jasey, Jasoy
Jesus Montero - Jesusy, Zeusy, Monty
Miguel Olivo - Miggy (Rizzs staple), Miguely, Oly, Olivoy
Dustin Ackley - Dusty, Ackleyy
Chone Figgins - Choney, Figgy (Rizzs staple)
Munenori Kawasaki - Mooney (Rizzs is using this), Munenoriy, Kowy, Kawasakiy, Saky/Saki
Alex Liddi - Alexy, Lexy, Liddiy
Brendan Ryan - Brendy, Ryany
Kyle Seager - Kylie, Seagy, Seagery
Justin Smoak - Justiny, Smoaky (Rizzs might occasionally use this one)
Michael Saunders - Mikey, Saundy, Saundersy
Ichiro Suzuki - Ichi (Rizzs staple), Suzy, Suzuki, Zooky
Casper Wells - Caspy, Spury, Wellsy

Ugh.  Lazy hockey nicknames are bad, but they're not this bad.

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