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Friday, May 28, 2004

REFERRER LOG MADNESS 

A while ago I may or may not have been complaining about our referrer logs on the Sitemeter being totally useless and showing that all of our hits were referred from "unknown," which I knew wasn't true. I logged in to our little Sitemeter editor and it turns out I didn't paste the Javascript version of the code into the template. My bad.

But now, we can see where we're getting hits from, and that's a good thing. So when I'm strapped for content, I can just go to the referrer logs and rip apart one of the Google searches. For this post, we'll be tearing apart a search of [mariners suck] (not a phrase search). To the person that was hoping I'd dissect the search for naked pictures of Petr Sykora of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, sorry.

The first link I saw was one in the Seahawks fan page Seahawks.net. Poster and Seahawks.net editor-in-chief dfarrar777 has a nice little Marinerspeak-to-English translation thing here...
    MarinerSpeak - "We're looking at a big bat, but it's not wise to play our hand just yet. There are several options we're looking at."
    English - "We want you to think that we're looking at Carlos Beltran or Magglio Ordonez...yes, we think you're that stupid. We're actually thinking about trading the entire Tacoma pitching staff for Rondell White."

    MarinerSpeak - "The 2004 payroll will be in the neighborhood of $95 million plus..."
    English - "...minus cost-of living increases and the annual interest on all Executive Mutual Funds, not to mention the salaries of our 12 GMs. Should come in at about $80 million for players. SUCKERS!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

    MarinerSpeak - "Quinton McCracken needs more at-bats."
    English - "Quinton McCracken needs more at-bats."
    (...this one doesn't make sense either way).

    MarinerSpeak - "We still think we can turn this season around. We wouldn't be doing our jobs if we didn't expend every effort to field a winning team."
    English - "Wait until attendance drops below 25k per game, then trade the whole %&*@! team for spare parts! Howie needs a new boat!" [emphasis by David for enhanced readability]
Since this wasn't a specific phrase search, the most frequently appearing thing involving an article with the words "Mariners" and "suck" in it were all articles involving the Yankees Suck tee-shirt "controversy."

A tidbit from some Seattle Weekly dude...
    ...Over 27 innings of play, [Mariner fans] stood to clap and cheer in Pavlovian fashion only when the lighted scoreboards asked for noise or when that furry idiot Moose implored them, plaintively, "louder." Even after security guards confiscated our cowbell (after all, who in Seattle would bring a noisemaking device to a sporting event?), my Yankees-fanatic friends and I outyelled, out-cheered, and outclassed the game sitters around us.
    [...]
    But the most bizarre moment came on Sunday, when a group of KGB goons hired by Mariners management to promote "enjoyment" demanded that fans wearing T-shirts emblazoned with "Yankees Suck" disrobe because, after all, "suck" is such a dirty, dirty word. The pathetic M's fans meekly accepted this suspension of their First Amendment rights in the name of a "good time"--truly unbelievable.
Here's the blather from Rebecca Hale...
    "We may lead the league in ejections from the ballpark, but not because fans are misbehaving more here but because we don't tolerate much. This is about appropriate behavior. We have a code of conduct, a policy for language on clothing and banners and signs. Our feeling was this was not promoting what we want." [emphasis added by David, who asks, "what about what the FANS want? They paid for your damn stadium and the tickets to get in the place...ugh!!]
And lastly, who can forget about the good ol' ACLU. This had to do with the trials and tribulations of a fan by the name of David Chesson.
    "I thought the stadium was publicly funded ... They [the security guards] had me up against the bullpen fence. I made it very clear that I was taking the shirt off under protest. I was shocked that they made me change my shirt right there, and by then there was like 20 people standing around. As a person and season-ticket holder, I was humiliated. I didn't deserve to be treated that way."
Yes, the days of 2002, when Mariner fans could still convince themselves that the team was still good (though they would miss the playoffs), and they were so confident in their team winning that they complained about more inane things, like not being able to wear Yankees Suck shirts into the stadium. Ah, how I remember it well...

[Edit ~9:23a -- Resolution for me: italicize the block quotes because it helps differentiate better...]

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post written by David, published at 8:56 AM
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