Tuesday, May 11, 2004
MY TORTURED SELF
ESPN has ranked Seattle as the 7th most tortured sports town in America. It's way too low in my opinion. Boston will be in the Top 5, which is just total bullcrap. I'll explain why Seattle is a candidate for the Top 5:
---No World Series championships or appearances
---The Seahawks haven't won a playoff game since 1984
---No NBA championship since 1979, i.e. the Bird/Magic era
Anyways, my list of tortured Seattle sports moments...
10. The 1992 Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks were 2-14 in 1992. They had the second pick in the 1993 NFL Draft. However, if they would have lost to the Patriots during the 1992 season, they would have had the #1 pick overall in the 1993 draft. Guess who was the first pick of the 1993 draft?
Walla Walla's Drew Bledsoe. And who did the Seahawks get?
Notre Dame suckass Rick Mirer.
9. UConn's Richard Hamilton beating Washington on a buzzer beater in the Sweet 16
I'm not a Husky fan, but this was painful to watch. College basketball success in the Evergreen State is hard to come by, especially from the boys on Montlake. But in 1998, the Huskies advanced to the Sweet 16. They took on UConn, a veteran of NCAA Tournament play.
Rip Hamilton nails a buzzer beater to knock off the Huskies in Greensboro Coliseum 75-74. UConn would go on to lose to North Carolina in the Elite 8, but would win the National Championship in 1999.
The Huskies would make an apperance in the tournament in 1999, but lost in the first round to Miami-Ohio.
8. Jim McIllvaine signing with the Sonics in 1996
No need to go into details here, because it's a waste of time.
McIllvaine ended Shawn Kemp's career. That's it, that's the list. (Not THIS list, mind you, but Kemp's career.)
7. 1993 Western Conference Finals, Sonics vs Suns
SIXTY-THREE FREE THROWS.
SIXTY-THREE FREE THROWS.
Well, at least NBC got their much desired Jordan vs Barkley NBA Finals...
6. Randy Johnson winning the World Series in Arizona
This is a byproduct of the 2001 Mariners (more later). Seeing The Big Unit win a World Series somewhere other than Seattle makes me bitter to this day. Sue me.
5. Vinny Testaverde's "Touchdown"
December 6, 1998
This "touchdown" cost the Seahawks a playoff berth in 1998. It probably cost Dennis Erickson his job, even though I would have fired him regardless of whether the Seahawks had made the playoffs.
Phil Luckett is a stupid son of a bitch.
4. Jason Varitek and Derek Lowe to Boston for Heathcliff Slocumb
You tell me who would be better to have behind the plate right now, Dan Wilson or Jason Varitek?
I rest my fricking case.
3. 2000 ALCS, Games 2 and 6 Mariners vs Yankees
I hate David Justice.
Sadly, I hate seeing Arthur Rhodes pitching in Yankee Stadium.
Painful.
2. 2003 NFC Wild Card Playoff, Seahawks at Packers
"We're going to score!", Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck.
Al Harris 52 yard INT returned for a TD.
That dreadlocked bastard...
AND NUMBER ONE...
1. 2001 ALCS, Game 4 Mariners vs Yankees
My take on the events of October 21, 2001
Enter Sandman. Mariano Rivera.
What does the most clutch player in the history of baseball do?
John Olerud. Grounds out to Tino Martinez.
Stan Javier. Grounds out to Alfonso Soriano.
Mike Cameron. Pops out to Tino Martinez.
Three pitches. Three outs. End of the %@$#%&$ season.
Honorable mention? How about the 2004 Seattle Mariners?
That's my list. Comments in the box below if you care to.
---No World Series championships or appearances
---The Seahawks haven't won a playoff game since 1984
---No NBA championship since 1979, i.e. the Bird/Magic era
Anyways, my list of tortured Seattle sports moments...
10. The 1992 Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks were 2-14 in 1992. They had the second pick in the 1993 NFL Draft. However, if they would have lost to the Patriots during the 1992 season, they would have had the #1 pick overall in the 1993 draft. Guess who was the first pick of the 1993 draft?
Walla Walla's Drew Bledsoe. And who did the Seahawks get?
Notre Dame suckass Rick Mirer.
9. UConn's Richard Hamilton beating Washington on a buzzer beater in the Sweet 16
I'm not a Husky fan, but this was painful to watch. College basketball success in the Evergreen State is hard to come by, especially from the boys on Montlake. But in 1998, the Huskies advanced to the Sweet 16. They took on UConn, a veteran of NCAA Tournament play.
Rip Hamilton nails a buzzer beater to knock off the Huskies in Greensboro Coliseum 75-74. UConn would go on to lose to North Carolina in the Elite 8, but would win the National Championship in 1999.
The Huskies would make an apperance in the tournament in 1999, but lost in the first round to Miami-Ohio.
8. Jim McIllvaine signing with the Sonics in 1996
No need to go into details here, because it's a waste of time.
McIllvaine ended Shawn Kemp's career. That's it, that's the list. (Not THIS list, mind you, but Kemp's career.)
7. 1993 Western Conference Finals, Sonics vs Suns
SIXTY-THREE FREE THROWS.
SIXTY-THREE FREE THROWS.
Well, at least NBC got their much desired Jordan vs Barkley NBA Finals...
6. Randy Johnson winning the World Series in Arizona
This is a byproduct of the 2001 Mariners (more later). Seeing The Big Unit win a World Series somewhere other than Seattle makes me bitter to this day. Sue me.
5. Vinny Testaverde's "Touchdown"
December 6, 1998
This "touchdown" cost the Seahawks a playoff berth in 1998. It probably cost Dennis Erickson his job, even though I would have fired him regardless of whether the Seahawks had made the playoffs.
Phil Luckett is a stupid son of a bitch.
4. Jason Varitek and Derek Lowe to Boston for Heathcliff Slocumb
You tell me who would be better to have behind the plate right now, Dan Wilson or Jason Varitek?
I rest my fricking case.
3. 2000 ALCS, Games 2 and 6 Mariners vs Yankees
I hate David Justice.
Sadly, I hate seeing Arthur Rhodes pitching in Yankee Stadium.
Painful.
2. 2003 NFC Wild Card Playoff, Seahawks at Packers
"We're going to score!", Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck.
Al Harris 52 yard INT returned for a TD.
That dreadlocked bastard...
AND NUMBER ONE...
1. 2001 ALCS, Game 4 Mariners vs Yankees
My take on the events of October 21, 2001
Enter Sandman. Mariano Rivera.
What does the most clutch player in the history of baseball do?
John Olerud. Grounds out to Tino Martinez.
Stan Javier. Grounds out to Alfonso Soriano.
Mike Cameron. Pops out to Tino Martinez.
Three pitches. Three outs. End of the %@$#%&$ season.
Honorable mention? How about the 2004 Seattle Mariners?
That's my list. Comments in the box below if you care to.
/ Click for main page
