Wednesday, March 24, 2004
SEMI-STORYTIME WITH DAVID
This one might be a little strange, and scatterbrained...
-- I've been listening to way too much KJR since the place where I've worked the last two summers hasn't hired me back for the week. Usually Softy can be a pretty pessimistic guy, but EVEN HE is drinking the Bill Bavasi Kool-Aid (I need to hear what David Locke thinks...if there's a Mariner pessimist at the station, it's gotta be him). I couldn't believe the stuff that he was spouting. He thinks Raul Ibanez is going to have a big year. Based on what? I tried to tell an Ibanez proponent (and former teammate, who also said "have you seen how he hits in Safeco Field?" My reply: small sample size) yesterday that the Mariners should have gotten Jose Cruz, to which he said "Cruz hit .250 last year." I've made this argument quite a few times on this site, and I said Cruz had more homers than Ibanez while playing half his games in Pac Bell, walked more, won a Gold Glove last year, and cost considerably less than what Ibanez was stupidly paid. I'll move on before I bore you with the same argument...
-- I just got done watching my first second full NBA game of the season, the Dallas-Indiana game on ESPN. I thought Tony Tolbert was the color guy, but I guess it was actually Sean Elliott who used the word "bitchin'" to describe a blocked shot. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, players fell to the floor way too often, Mark Cuban didn't do anything too weird, and some of the play was a little sloppy. One thing that gets on my nerves about the NBA sometimes: weird-ass jump passes that involve weird body contortions and transfers of weight. I guess you'd have to see it. They're not smooth by any means. What made the game gratifying, you ask? Indiana broke 100 points. This wasn't some boring Houston-Detroit game with a final score of 72-67, hell no. This was good ol' back-and-forth basketball. I love this game!! Okay, technically I only loved this particular game that I watched tonight. Most of the time of I have the ESPN NBA coverage on, I end up wanting to either yell at Stephen A. Smith to shut the hell up or just reach through the TV and strangle him so I can shut him up myself.
-- Last spring, I was on a field trip with my volcanology class in the sticks of central Oregon with our tiny group from Central and some OSU folks. I brought a ball and glove, and so did classmate and occasional partner in crime Seth. We were playing catch, and I tried to throw a circle change. Seth said it moved in such a way that it would have tailed inward to a right-handed hitter. Basically, I tried to throw a changeup and it came out as a screwball. I think what happened is that the ball came out in such a way that it came off my middle, ring, and then pinkie finger, mimicking a counterclockwise motion out of the hand. I wish I could duplicate that toss a bunch of times, then make a career out of it like Jim Mecir has. Then later I threw a ball over Seth, it hit a truck, and we threw our mitts off to the side and walked away like we didn't know what just happened. I've had past experiments with the knuckleball, but it's one of those things where I only have about a 16% success rate or so when trying to throw the damn thing.
-- Back to KJR, most of Softy's show today was a justified lovefest for the 25th anniversary of the Sonics' (and the Seattle pro teams') only championship (the Friday DEN/SEA game will also retire Gus Williams' #1 jersey). It was just a joy to hear the excitement in the callers' voices, recollecting how much of an under-the-basket force Jack Sikma was, or how much of an unsung hero Paul Silas was. Callers had some great stories. One said that his daughter was being born during the 4th quarter and he was going back and forth out of the delivery room to get the score. Another said that he and three friends were with their prom dates and lobbied the restaurant staff for a table close to the bar and to the TV; they completely ignored their dates the whole time and went to the phones to call whoever they could after the final buzzer sounded. Another said that he and many others raced (after one of the playoff series wins) through the Bon Marche to the ticket counter, and the attendant asked what big concert was coming to town, but it was the Sonics. The most humorous caller said he and his friends would play an over-under game for the time Wally Walker took to draw a foul after coming off the bench.
-- Who do you like better: Jason and Jaron Collins (fmr. Stanford) or Sam and Simeon Haley (fmr. Missouri)? You might have to hop into the Wayback Machine and set it to the mid-90s to construct an educated answer about these college basketball folks. "Neither" is a suitable answer.
-- My KeyArena memories involve three events, all involving me doing security (hilarious at the time given my 5'7" 160 lb frame). I worked at a Bumbershoot, a Deck the Hall Ball, and a Hornets-Sonics game. At the Bumbershoot, I was guarding one of the exits which people weren't supposed to exit through for some reason (I tried to have a spine when it came to this, but if you ran through, I wouldn't have gone after you), and I could see the stage from where I was. Ozomatli (I subsequently bought both of their full-length albums) was on stage when a fight broke out in front of the stage. They stopped in the middle of the song and told the warring factions to stop. Quite frankly, I don't know how anyone could fight during an Ozomatli song because their stuff is the complete opposite of angry. At the same Bumbershoot I was inside guarding a section that people weren't supposed to sit in due to fire marshal's orders. This wasn't easily enforceable, though I did manage (at request) to enforce KeyArena's smoking policy, to which some fairly hot girls clapped and gave me a brief self-esteem boost. At the Deck the Hall Ball, I was taken back and forth behind the stage many times and had to restrain from pulling the big-ass master light switches that were back there. Some guy that looked like Matt Cameron paced back and forth through there, but I quickly realized he was probably too high-class for most of the hacks that were at the concert. Granted, Green Day are not hacks, but Orgy are. Speaking of Orgy, I think I saw the entrance of their lead singer into one of the special-pass bars that I was guarding in front of. As the concert was let out, I was with another fellow security guard and I laughed at some girl who looked like she got her face smashed in the pit or something, and her friend tried to call me out for it. Who cares? I laughed it up -- I'd never see them again. The third event I did was the aforementioned CHAR/SEA game (the Ewing year). I don't remember the score, only the ending. A few of you may remember the ending: Vin Baker, off the top of the shot clock and in. Sonics win. Where did they have me guarding after the game? Let's put the puny guy in the main tunnel!! There have been few instances where I have been more scared in my life than when I was in the midst of multiple players' entourages. Everyone was at least a foot taller than me, and man, I was just scared as hell. If some kind of scuffle broke out in there, there was nothing I could have done. I'd be an inept security guard, much like in Austin Powers.
-- I have a batting practice ground-rule double ball that Carlos Guillen bounced short of the warning track and into the stands at the Safe back in 2000, when the place was still fan-friendly (i.e., CF gate still opened three hours before game time, no net shielded the staircase behind the bullpen, the font on the manual scoreboard was still in that cool highway sign font instead of the soulless business font that it was in last year). I think I went to six games that year, more than I ever went to at the Kingdome. It was great that year when the Blue Jays came to town, though friend Grant and I had to decide whether to camp out in LF or RF during batting practice, depending on whether we thought we'd have a better chance at a homer ball from Tony Batista (who hit a lot of bombs that year) or Carlos Delgado. I think the same game was the one where Shannon Stewart took a fly ball in the face in LF. One of the other games I went to was the Kansas City game where Mike Cameron scored the winning run (he was really out) in extra innings on a Jay Buhner double. This was also the year where the Red Sox were in town and I tried to get Rich Garces' attention when he was getting his running in with the bullpen. "EL GUAAAAAPOOOO!!!"
-- Final KJR note: Steve Sandmeyer and Mitch Levy got onto the topic of the Mariner commercials this morning. I guess Mitch hadn't seen them yet. Sandmeyer referred to what he said on the air when the commercials came out; he thought two of the commercials were great and the rest were crap. Sandmeyer then said he got 200 angry emails because he said that. Sandmeyer: "it's like you can't even criticize the Mariners in this town." I get that feeling sometimes, too. Way too many people out there are drinking the Mariner Kool-Aid right now. I guess if I tried to sum up what my problem is with the Mariner offseason, I'd say that the Mariners have made moves based on what might happen, not what probably will happen. Sure, the starting rotation is great. Some people forget Gil Meche can land on the DL at any second. Softy is buddy-buddy with Ryan Franklin, so there's no way he's going to slam him, but with Cameron gone, some fly balls are going to drop, and I haven't got to what happens if people are actually on base this year when Franklin gives up the home runs. If Meche gets the knife and Franklin stinks it up...the starting five doesn't look so great now, does it?
Okay, I've got to end this rant. Chappelle's Show is on in about 40 minutes. Hope you enjoyed a peek into the twisted and horribly convoluted mind of a guy named David who hails from the Bremerton ghetto.
-- I've been listening to way too much KJR since the place where I've worked the last two summers hasn't hired me back for the week. Usually Softy can be a pretty pessimistic guy, but EVEN HE is drinking the Bill Bavasi Kool-Aid (I need to hear what David Locke thinks...if there's a Mariner pessimist at the station, it's gotta be him). I couldn't believe the stuff that he was spouting. He thinks Raul Ibanez is going to have a big year. Based on what? I tried to tell an Ibanez proponent (and former teammate, who also said "have you seen how he hits in Safeco Field?" My reply: small sample size) yesterday that the Mariners should have gotten Jose Cruz, to which he said "Cruz hit .250 last year." I've made this argument quite a few times on this site, and I said Cruz had more homers than Ibanez while playing half his games in Pac Bell, walked more, won a Gold Glove last year, and cost considerably less than what Ibanez was stupidly paid. I'll move on before I bore you with the same argument...
-- I just got done watching my first second full NBA game of the season, the Dallas-Indiana game on ESPN. I thought Tony Tolbert was the color guy, but I guess it was actually Sean Elliott who used the word "bitchin'" to describe a blocked shot. I couldn't believe it. Anyway, players fell to the floor way too often, Mark Cuban didn't do anything too weird, and some of the play was a little sloppy. One thing that gets on my nerves about the NBA sometimes: weird-ass jump passes that involve weird body contortions and transfers of weight. I guess you'd have to see it. They're not smooth by any means. What made the game gratifying, you ask? Indiana broke 100 points. This wasn't some boring Houston-Detroit game with a final score of 72-67, hell no. This was good ol' back-and-forth basketball. I love this game!! Okay, technically I only loved this particular game that I watched tonight. Most of the time of I have the ESPN NBA coverage on, I end up wanting to either yell at Stephen A. Smith to shut the hell up or just reach through the TV and strangle him so I can shut him up myself.
-- Last spring, I was on a field trip with my volcanology class in the sticks of central Oregon with our tiny group from Central and some OSU folks. I brought a ball and glove, and so did classmate and occasional partner in crime Seth. We were playing catch, and I tried to throw a circle change. Seth said it moved in such a way that it would have tailed inward to a right-handed hitter. Basically, I tried to throw a changeup and it came out as a screwball. I think what happened is that the ball came out in such a way that it came off my middle, ring, and then pinkie finger, mimicking a counterclockwise motion out of the hand. I wish I could duplicate that toss a bunch of times, then make a career out of it like Jim Mecir has. Then later I threw a ball over Seth, it hit a truck, and we threw our mitts off to the side and walked away like we didn't know what just happened. I've had past experiments with the knuckleball, but it's one of those things where I only have about a 16% success rate or so when trying to throw the damn thing.
-- Back to KJR, most of Softy's show today was a justified lovefest for the 25th anniversary of the Sonics' (and the Seattle pro teams') only championship (the Friday DEN/SEA game will also retire Gus Williams' #1 jersey). It was just a joy to hear the excitement in the callers' voices, recollecting how much of an under-the-basket force Jack Sikma was, or how much of an unsung hero Paul Silas was. Callers had some great stories. One said that his daughter was being born during the 4th quarter and he was going back and forth out of the delivery room to get the score. Another said that he and three friends were with their prom dates and lobbied the restaurant staff for a table close to the bar and to the TV; they completely ignored their dates the whole time and went to the phones to call whoever they could after the final buzzer sounded. Another said that he and many others raced (after one of the playoff series wins) through the Bon Marche to the ticket counter, and the attendant asked what big concert was coming to town, but it was the Sonics. The most humorous caller said he and his friends would play an over-under game for the time Wally Walker took to draw a foul after coming off the bench.
-- Who do you like better: Jason and Jaron Collins (fmr. Stanford) or Sam and Simeon Haley (fmr. Missouri)? You might have to hop into the Wayback Machine and set it to the mid-90s to construct an educated answer about these college basketball folks. "Neither" is a suitable answer.
-- My KeyArena memories involve three events, all involving me doing security (hilarious at the time given my 5'7" 160 lb frame). I worked at a Bumbershoot, a Deck the Hall Ball, and a Hornets-Sonics game. At the Bumbershoot, I was guarding one of the exits which people weren't supposed to exit through for some reason (I tried to have a spine when it came to this, but if you ran through, I wouldn't have gone after you), and I could see the stage from where I was. Ozomatli (I subsequently bought both of their full-length albums) was on stage when a fight broke out in front of the stage. They stopped in the middle of the song and told the warring factions to stop. Quite frankly, I don't know how anyone could fight during an Ozomatli song because their stuff is the complete opposite of angry. At the same Bumbershoot I was inside guarding a section that people weren't supposed to sit in due to fire marshal's orders. This wasn't easily enforceable, though I did manage (at request) to enforce KeyArena's smoking policy, to which some fairly hot girls clapped and gave me a brief self-esteem boost. At the Deck the Hall Ball, I was taken back and forth behind the stage many times and had to restrain from pulling the big-ass master light switches that were back there. Some guy that looked like Matt Cameron paced back and forth through there, but I quickly realized he was probably too high-class for most of the hacks that were at the concert. Granted, Green Day are not hacks, but Orgy are. Speaking of Orgy, I think I saw the entrance of their lead singer into one of the special-pass bars that I was guarding in front of. As the concert was let out, I was with another fellow security guard and I laughed at some girl who looked like she got her face smashed in the pit or something, and her friend tried to call me out for it. Who cares? I laughed it up -- I'd never see them again. The third event I did was the aforementioned CHAR/SEA game (the Ewing year). I don't remember the score, only the ending. A few of you may remember the ending: Vin Baker, off the top of the shot clock and in. Sonics win. Where did they have me guarding after the game? Let's put the puny guy in the main tunnel!! There have been few instances where I have been more scared in my life than when I was in the midst of multiple players' entourages. Everyone was at least a foot taller than me, and man, I was just scared as hell. If some kind of scuffle broke out in there, there was nothing I could have done. I'd be an inept security guard, much like in Austin Powers.
-- I have a batting practice ground-rule double ball that Carlos Guillen bounced short of the warning track and into the stands at the Safe back in 2000, when the place was still fan-friendly (i.e., CF gate still opened three hours before game time, no net shielded the staircase behind the bullpen, the font on the manual scoreboard was still in that cool highway sign font instead of the soulless business font that it was in last year). I think I went to six games that year, more than I ever went to at the Kingdome. It was great that year when the Blue Jays came to town, though friend Grant and I had to decide whether to camp out in LF or RF during batting practice, depending on whether we thought we'd have a better chance at a homer ball from Tony Batista (who hit a lot of bombs that year) or Carlos Delgado. I think the same game was the one where Shannon Stewart took a fly ball in the face in LF. One of the other games I went to was the Kansas City game where Mike Cameron scored the winning run (he was really out) in extra innings on a Jay Buhner double. This was also the year where the Red Sox were in town and I tried to get Rich Garces' attention when he was getting his running in with the bullpen. "EL GUAAAAAPOOOO!!!"
-- Final KJR note: Steve Sandmeyer and Mitch Levy got onto the topic of the Mariner commercials this morning. I guess Mitch hadn't seen them yet. Sandmeyer referred to what he said on the air when the commercials came out; he thought two of the commercials were great and the rest were crap. Sandmeyer then said he got 200 angry emails because he said that. Sandmeyer: "it's like you can't even criticize the Mariners in this town." I get that feeling sometimes, too. Way too many people out there are drinking the Mariner Kool-Aid right now. I guess if I tried to sum up what my problem is with the Mariner offseason, I'd say that the Mariners have made moves based on what might happen, not what probably will happen. Sure, the starting rotation is great. Some people forget Gil Meche can land on the DL at any second. Softy is buddy-buddy with Ryan Franklin, so there's no way he's going to slam him, but with Cameron gone, some fly balls are going to drop, and I haven't got to what happens if people are actually on base this year when Franklin gives up the home runs. If Meche gets the knife and Franklin stinks it up...the starting five doesn't look so great now, does it?
Okay, I've got to end this rant. Chappelle's Show is on in about 40 minutes. Hope you enjoyed a peek into the twisted and horribly convoluted mind of a guy named David who hails from the Bremerton ghetto.
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