Monday, March 14, 2005


Yes, the new 2005 Mariners television commercials have been released to the public.

I'm a huge game show fan. Instead of watching tons of cartoons as a kid, I watched a ton of game shows, from The Price Is Right to Sale Of The Century. God bless the USA Network for their endless reruns of Sale Of The Century and Press Your Luck.

But these new Mariners commercials have it all wrong. Sure, I don't think all of these spots are horrible. However, if I had to do a commercial within the Mariners "What A Show!" umbrella, it would certainly be more interesting than "The Balk".

I would have Eddie Guardado as the game show host. He would be a perfect Jim Perry, the host of the previously mentioned Sale Of The Century. The contestant would be Willie Bloomquist. Why, of course!

Anyways, the name of the show is "Who Wants To Earn An Everyday Lineup Spot?".

Let's just say that Bret Boone missed the entire 2005 season. We don't want that to happen, but what if it did? The Mariners want to keep Jose Lopez in Tacoma instead of putting him at second base, so there's a vacancy there. Scott Spiezio at second base could be a disaster in the making, so he's out of the running.

Enter Willie Bloomquist.

Eddie calls on Willie and asks him several questions. In his usual "aww shucks" manner, Willie gets the questions right. So, for the final round, Willie has to beat the Mariner Moose in horse. Yes, horse.

Since the Moose doesn't understand horse, Willie wins easily.

Eddie congratulates Willie on a job well done. Willie Bloomquist will be the new everyday second baseman for the Seattle Mariners. At least that was the plan, right?

Eddie then informs Willie that Reg Grundy Productions sold the rights of the show to Major League Baseball. And since MLB owns the Washington Nationals, guess where Willie is going?

He's going to Washington! No, not THAT Washington!


If only "Who Wants To Earn An Everyday Lineup Spot?" could be a real show...

The above post was not typed while the poster was under the influence of drugs, alcohol, or Rick Rizzs' friendship brownies. He really did think of this while sober.

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