Wednesday, October 27, 2004
HANDFUL
I think I first read Bill Simmons when he introduced a sort of five-year rule for fans of teams after they win championships. I'll arbitrarily expand that to an entire city's fans and say that if a major pro sports team in your city wins a title, I don't want you complaining about your city's sports teams for five years after the championship. So to the fans in Phoenix. I don't care if the Diamondbacks were brutally horrible this year, the Suns are mediocre, and the Cardinals are crap -- the Diamondbacks won the title in 2001, so I don't want to hear from you until you've waited out the five-year period.
So here's the no-bitching list...
(year of title >> year to lift the complaint moratorium)
1998 >> 2003 (these teams are now "safe," unless they won another title later)
New York Yankees, Denver Broncos, Chicago Bulls, Detroit Red Wings
1999 >> 2004
New York Yankees, Denver Broncos, San Antonio Spurs, Dallas Stars
2000 >> 2005
New York Yankees, Saint Louis Rams, Los Angeles Lakers, New Jersey Devils
2001 >> 2006
Arizona Diamondbacks, Baltimore Ravens, Los Angeles Lakers, Colorado Avalanche
2002 >> 2007
Anaheim Angels, New England Patriots, Los Angeles Lakers, Detroit Red Wings
2003 >> 2008
Florida Marlins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Antonio Spurs, New Jersey Devils
2004 >> 2009
Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Detroit Pistons, Tampa Bay Lightning
Yes, it's quite something to think that Chicago just got out of the five-year period, especially considering how pathetic the Bulls have been since. But the Blackhawks haven't been much better, the Bears have been subpar, the White Sox mediocre, and the Cubs are a giant tease. Of course, I'm looking at those last four baseball winners and wondering why the Mariners aren't one of those four. Shame, shame, shame.
So, if your city is on this list, I don't want to hear a thing out of you. I'd have to increase this list five-fold for Seattle to show up on this list, so don't come crying to me.
And yes, that includes Boston even if the Red Sox lose 120 games next year, the Patriots go 1-15 (like they used to), and the Celtics lose 60 games (the Bruins won't be playing for a while).
Gimme five.
So here's the no-bitching list...
(year of title >> year to lift the complaint moratorium)
1998 >> 2003 (these teams are now "safe," unless they won another title later)
New York Yankees, Denver Broncos, Chicago Bulls, Detroit Red Wings
1999 >> 2004
New York Yankees, Denver Broncos, San Antonio Spurs, Dallas Stars
2000 >> 2005
New York Yankees, Saint Louis Rams, Los Angeles Lakers, New Jersey Devils
2001 >> 2006
Arizona Diamondbacks, Baltimore Ravens, Los Angeles Lakers, Colorado Avalanche
2002 >> 2007
Anaheim Angels, New England Patriots, Los Angeles Lakers, Detroit Red Wings
2003 >> 2008
Florida Marlins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Antonio Spurs, New Jersey Devils
2004 >> 2009
Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Detroit Pistons, Tampa Bay Lightning
Yes, it's quite something to think that Chicago just got out of the five-year period, especially considering how pathetic the Bulls have been since. But the Blackhawks haven't been much better, the Bears have been subpar, the White Sox mediocre, and the Cubs are a giant tease. Of course, I'm looking at those last four baseball winners and wondering why the Mariners aren't one of those four. Shame, shame, shame.
So, if your city is on this list, I don't want to hear a thing out of you. I'd have to increase this list five-fold for Seattle to show up on this list, so don't come crying to me.
And yes, that includes Boston even if the Red Sox lose 120 games next year, the Patriots go 1-15 (like they used to), and the Celtics lose 60 games (the Bruins won't be playing for a while).
Gimme five.
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