Sunday, May 22, 2005
PRESSED
You weren't watching a ballgame today, folks.
You were watching a very special infomercial on the Safeco Field Press Box Suite, only on FSN Northwest! Sure beats the poker shows! The Safeco Field Press Box Suite seats 18 people and has great food! Yes, great food! You can stuff yourself silly with the great food! Did I mention how great the food is?
If I had $5,800 to throw away, I'd probably rent the Safeco Field Press Box Suite. I'd make it the "Sports And Bremertonians Press Box Suite" for one day. David and I would bring our laptops, like real reporters do. We could interact with the fans that couldn't make it to the game. Sports And Bremertonians at Safeco Field, live and direct! I think I'd eat a lot of pepperoni pizza as well. No kiwi, because you're not supposed to eat fruit at a ballgame. It's OK to eat unhealthy food at a ballgame.
Since the suite can hold 18 people, we'd probably invite a few of our loyal readers to the suite. I could bring back the light bat and put it to good use. The light bat show would be a better show than the one on the field, I can guarantee that.
In the real Press Box Suite package, you get a copy of the Mariner Magazine and a press box suite cap. You also get to go on the field. That's not too bad.
But in the Sports And Bremertonians Press Box Suite, you would receive:
---A light bat! The same light bat that's in the link above!
---Washington State Ferries schedule. Come beautify Bremerton!
---Sports and B's placards. Slogans such as "When You Win, You Lose!", "No, Villone!", and "Wolf Pride, My Ass!" are featured on the placards.
---Bremertonian headbands. Bremerton isn't just in your heart, it's on your forehead!
---Beef jerky. Because you shouldn't eat fruit at a ballgame.
Three years ago, the Mariners wouldn't have had to advertise the Press Box Suite for an entire ballgame. However, when your ballclub is under .500 and attendance has fallen off, well, you have to resort to these types of measures.
Trust me folks, the Sports And Bremertonians Press Box Suite would be a great time for all involved. It wouldn't be some stuffed shirt deal where the people don't know jack about the Mariners. No cheering in the press box? HA! Our suite would be the loudest suite ever. Sadly, there's not a whole lot to cheer about on the field. But that wouldn't matter.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Wait, there was a ballgame today?
I was so wrapped up in the suite that I didn't notice Aaron Sele's performance today. Complete game, 4-hit shutout. Sele with the shutout? What's going on here?
Guess what? The Mariners just completed a winning homestand! They were 5-4 on this 9-game homestand with the Red Sox, Yankees, and Padres. Now it's off to Baltimore for 3 and Tampa Bay for 3. Let's see if they can carry this little bit of momentum to the East Coast.
When you win, you lose!
You were watching a very special infomercial on the Safeco Field Press Box Suite, only on FSN Northwest! Sure beats the poker shows! The Safeco Field Press Box Suite seats 18 people and has great food! Yes, great food! You can stuff yourself silly with the great food! Did I mention how great the food is?
If I had $5,800 to throw away, I'd probably rent the Safeco Field Press Box Suite. I'd make it the "Sports And Bremertonians Press Box Suite" for one day. David and I would bring our laptops, like real reporters do. We could interact with the fans that couldn't make it to the game. Sports And Bremertonians at Safeco Field, live and direct! I think I'd eat a lot of pepperoni pizza as well. No kiwi, because you're not supposed to eat fruit at a ballgame. It's OK to eat unhealthy food at a ballgame.
Since the suite can hold 18 people, we'd probably invite a few of our loyal readers to the suite. I could bring back the light bat and put it to good use. The light bat show would be a better show than the one on the field, I can guarantee that.
In the real Press Box Suite package, you get a copy of the Mariner Magazine and a press box suite cap. You also get to go on the field. That's not too bad.
But in the Sports And Bremertonians Press Box Suite, you would receive:
---A light bat! The same light bat that's in the link above!
---Washington State Ferries schedule. Come beautify Bremerton!
---Sports and B's placards. Slogans such as "When You Win, You Lose!", "No, Villone!", and "Wolf Pride, My Ass!" are featured on the placards.
---Bremertonian headbands. Bremerton isn't just in your heart, it's on your forehead!
---Beef jerky. Because you shouldn't eat fruit at a ballgame.
Three years ago, the Mariners wouldn't have had to advertise the Press Box Suite for an entire ballgame. However, when your ballclub is under .500 and attendance has fallen off, well, you have to resort to these types of measures.
Trust me folks, the Sports And Bremertonians Press Box Suite would be a great time for all involved. It wouldn't be some stuffed shirt deal where the people don't know jack about the Mariners. No cheering in the press box? HA! Our suite would be the loudest suite ever. Sadly, there's not a whole lot to cheer about on the field. But that wouldn't matter.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Wait, there was a ballgame today?
I was so wrapped up in the suite that I didn't notice Aaron Sele's performance today. Complete game, 4-hit shutout. Sele with the shutout? What's going on here?
Guess what? The Mariners just completed a winning homestand! They were 5-4 on this 9-game homestand with the Red Sox, Yankees, and Padres. Now it's off to Baltimore for 3 and Tampa Bay for 3. Let's see if they can carry this little bit of momentum to the East Coast.
When you win, you lose!
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