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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

BYTES 

I'm not dead. If I was dead, then this blog would go to hell.

But anyways...

---The San Jose Sharks are for real. Enough of this "well, the Avalanche are flat" bullcrap. You want to know how you can beat the Avalanche? GET PHYSICAL. It's obvious to anyone that if you pressure Peter Forsberg, he will fold and make stupid penalties. I hope the bastard goes back to Sweden next year. Quit bitching, Divesburg!

Back to the Sharks. I predicted the Sharks to win the Stanley Cup, with Evgeni Nabokov to win the Conn Smythe Trophy. It's not over yet, but the Sharks are clearly the best team in the Western Conference right now. Patrick Marleau is on fire. Vincent Damphousse has scored a goal in each of the first three games of the Colorado series. Everything has gone right for the Sharks so far. They can sweep the Avs Wednesday night in the Pepsi Center.

---Jolbert Cabrera in center field tonight??? I have nothing more to say about that.

---The Black Eyed Peas "Let's Get It Started" promo on ESPN/ESPN2 is by far the most entertaining moment of the NBA Playoffs right now. However, if there had to be just one slight change to it, I would have Stacey Ferguson shake her ass more. Forget the Ice Man George Gervin and the other guys...when I think of BEP, I think of Stacey. Who doesn't? And by the way, the real name of the song is "Let's Get Retarded", but for corporate purposes, it's "Let's Get It Started".

---SportsCenter is crap. I'm just not a fan of Stuart Scott and Scott Van Pelt dropping their alma maters all over the viewers, that's all. For the record, Scott went to North Carolina and Van Pelt went to Maryland. I don't fear the turtle, bitch.

---I do fear the fact that Rafael Palmeiro will hit at least 2 home runs this series.

---The Seahawks didn't have a bad draft at all. If DT Marcus Tubbs doesn't have to go up against any players who played at Arkansas, Oklahoma, or Washington State, he should be fine in the NFL. And if LB/S Michael Boulware can be as good as his brother Peter, then the Seahawks are really in business.

Frick Texas.

---However, I would have really liked the Seahawks draft even more if they were able to select DT Vince Wilfork. That guy is a monster. And he's now in New England. Yikes.

---I hope Eli Manning enjoys the swamps of the Meadowlands. The Chargers may be terrible, but I'd still rather live in San Diego than New York/New Jersey.

---Ben Roethlisberger will be a better NFL quarterback than Eli Manning. Say goodbye, Tommy Maddox, XFL MVP.

---Somebody go up to Mel Kiper, Jr. and mess up his hair.

---I'm shivering over the thought of hearing Ichiro being mentioned in the same sentence as Tony Womack. I'll end this by saying that I wish Vladimir Guerrero was Japanese.

---Damn you and your daily doubles, you brigand! Same goes for David for mentioning Limp Bizkit's version of "Behind Blue Eyes". I guess I'll have to strike up another post of bad songs. I forgot a couple, so that will come soon.

--The Los Angeles Times reported that the Dodgers asked William Hung to be their "rally monkey". He refused because he wouldn't get paid.

You know, when Hung was introduced to America on "American Idol", I couldn't believe what I was seeing. He was so horrible he was hilarious. But the time has come for this guy to go back to Berkeley and enjoy his college life.

The fact that KOCH and Fuse offered him a record deal is just pathetic. It's spitting on all the unsigned talent out there who have been working their asses off for years for that big break. But I applaud Hung for getting that dollar dollar bill.

I would love to make some good money right now, but not at the expense of being a bad singer. Hung has no idea that the people who are buying his albums and watching him perform are making him out to be nothing but a joke. Hell, isn't he supposed to be a smart guy? After all, he does attend Cal.

---Genevieve Gorder is hot. She just isn't getting enough attention as far as our blog stats go. Paige Davis is great too, but she's no Genevieve.

---Richie Sexson has 9 home runs on the season. He hit a 503-foot shot off of the Cubs' Carlos Zambrano in Arizona's 9-0 win. However, he won't be a Mariner next season, so I'd rather not waste my energy.

Too bad, so sad.

---More bad music coming up. You know it.---

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