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Saturday, July 31, 2004

BUZZKILL 

You know, I haven't been this not-ticked-off on a Major League Baseball trade deadline day since 1999. I almost forgot what it was like. Too bad it doesn't involve me being happy about the Mariners acquiring a big name. As is widely known, they sealed their fate months ago as to whether or not they'd be adding a big name at the deadline.

Jeremy's pretty much got the trades covered, so what can I possibly bring you as I realize that once again Travis Blackley is out of the game fairly early (left with the lead, but didn't pitch five)?

...And now, for something completely different!

-- New Sonics power forward Danny Fortson was on the air with Dave "Softy" Mahler and Dick Fain yesterday, talking about how he'd be getting tons of playing time with the Sonics, the need for a rebounding presence, the need for some to get on Rashard Lewis if he's slacking, etc. Then, as promised to Mitch Levy (morning show host), Softy asked Fortson what happened between him, Art Long, and a horse. Fortson said it wasn't as bad as it came out in the papers. Though apparently he was 17, distracted, and they were doing some underage drinking, the horse was not hit overly violently, though hand-to-horse contact did occur between Long and horse. In a totally unrelated note, I just realized that the Tuesdays with Nelly (Jeff Nelson) segment that Softy had in years past has been replaced with Tuesdays with Willie (Bloomquist). Can you say "letdown"?

-- Whenever hockey season starts up, the usual crew will be back at Hockey Night in Canada, including the ever-popular rabble rouser Don Cherry. Also added to the crew is former Vancouver Canuck GM Brian Burke. Added to the World Cup of Hockey crew (of which the CBC will be airing all 19 games) is goalie Sean Burke, a grossly overpaid backup for the Philadelphia Flyers down the stretch last spring.

-- On another hockey note, Radek Bonk has left the Ottawa Senators (i.e., Jeff's favorite team) for Les Habitantes. He signed a three-year deal, which is slightly surprising due to the peril of the current labor situation. In related news, if there were a Hockey Hall of Names, Radek Bonk would be in it with Adam Deadmarsh, Adam Graves, Jeff Beukeboom, Darius Kasparaitis, Hakan Loob, and many others.

-- Yes, it's okay to stop talking about Mike Tyson. Dude tore a knee ligament in that last fight, I guess. Please, please fade into obscurity. Man, the heavyweight division sucks. To think Mike Tyson, after all this crap, could have reeled off a few decent fights in a row and had a legitimate shot at the heavyweight title. Yikes.

-- It turns out that "soldier" tight end Kellen Winslow Jr. of the Cleveland Browns and his ass agents Carl and Kevin Poston have turned down the Browns' contract offer that would make Winslow the highest-paid tight end in history (yes, even higher than Tony Gonzalez) even though he hasn't proved a damn thing in the NFL. To properly convey my sentiments about this, I'll just bite Gilbert Gottfried's contributions to VH1's I Love the 80s Strikes Back: Kellen Winslow Jr., WHAT THE F%&$?!!?!!

-- Lastly, Willie Bloomquist found some time to do something constructive as Jose Lopez is starting at shortstop. It turns out that the former South Kitsap Wolf shot a 62 on the Old Course at Sunningdale in the Women's British Open. Oops, wait... That was actually done by 19-year-old Minea Blomqvist of Finland. My bad. Minea Blomqvist shot the 62, and hit a 60-foot birdie putt on the final hole of that round, which probably would rival any of Bloomquist's feats in the Majors.

That's it for non-baseball stuff from me for now, and it looks like I'll have something to write about, what with a 5-0 Mariner lead turning into a tie game at 6. If Scott Atchison ever gets lit up, is anyone else down with referring to him as "Beyatchison"? I think it'd be endless fun.

Anyone remember that defunct MTV show Buzzkill?

Another post coming in a few hours. Enjoy your day, y'all.

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